Village Voice: A 33-year-old single mom has sued Citigroup, claiming she was fired because her bosses thought she was too hot.

JOB ANNOUNCEMENT
Business banker, midtown branch

Ideal candidate will have:
-3+ years banking experience

-normal body shape—nothing too curvy or voluptuous

-command of financial accounting

-1+ grating personality attributes that cancel out physical attractiveness

-imperfections in figure but no tattoos, body piercings or anything conjuring Bad Girl or Life-Changing Hipster Girl mystique

-knowledge of small business loan requirements

-prudish vibe but, again, it should be a grating prudishness, not a sexy prudishness (Amish schoolgirl not Catholic schoolgirl)

-having said that, your vibe should be prudish but not nubile. It’s not that we’re pedophiles—it’s just hard to resist young coquettish girls. You know what we mean.

-unexotic ethnicity —probably white, but not Nordic White! Nor Sorority White, Goth White, Jewish White, Sheltered Suburbanite White or Wrong Side of the Tracks White.

-masters in banking and securities law