December 2011
2 posts
1 tag
Updated guide to college football conferences
-The Atlantic Coast Conference is for schools on the Atlantic Coast.
-The Western Conference is for schools in the West. And Louisiana.
-The Pacific 12 is for schools on the Pacific Coast. And in landlocked, non-coastal states.
-The Big 10 is for 12 schools in the Midwest.
-The Big 12 is for 10 schools in what others call the Midwest.
-The Mountain West is for schools in the mountains and...
March 2011
1 post
January 2011
1 post
1 tag
December 2010
2 posts
Watch“Tech Mom”—Pam Murphy teaches hacking.
This is the final episode. Or is it????? (It is.)
1 tag
WatchGotta plug my cat, Abbey’s, debut performance!!
(Also, Connor Ratliff, D’Arcy and the Brig did a great job with this one.)
November 2010
2 posts
1 tag
WatchTech Mom, ep 2 is up. Pam and Adam did a great job.
2 tags
October 2010
2 posts
WatchNew Brig video on breast cancer and corporations.
walking for my Dad
Hello,
My brother and I are doing the NYC Walk to Beat Lung Cancer on Oct. 24th and could use some small donations (like five or ten bucks). As some of you know, my Dad passed away in August after a battle with lung cancer and we’re hoping to honor his memory by supporting lung cancer research.
(This is an email I sent to friends/family. Hope this doesn’t breach Tumblr decorum.)
...
September 2010
2 posts
1 tag
WatchI’m days late on this but let me advertise the Brig’s latest video.
My brother, Mark, did a great job with the music. Hear his band’s keyboard-based indie pop here.
1 tag
eulogy
My Dad passed away a couple weeks ago. Monday was his birthday so I thought I’d post the eulogy I wrote. Felt like a necessary prelude to returning to Tumblr, regular life. **** Eulogy, as delivered For my brother and me, my Dad was like a mountain you live your whole life in the foreground of, from childhood to adulthood. You can’t imagine the skyline without it. I want to...
July 2010
4 posts
1 tag
Therapist
Minute 25. Patient gets up to squash a spider on the wall with a tissue.
Therapist: Why do you suppose you did that?
Patient: Uh… I dunno. Because I saw a spider.
Therapist: And why did you kill it?
Patient: That’s what you’re supposed to do. So it doesn’t bite you.
Therapist: And why would you think the spider would bite YOU?
Patient: Because it was closest to me.
...
Editing Michael Jordan
Jordan on Lebron James joining Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami:
“There’s no way, with hindsight, I would’ve ever called up Larry (Bird), called up Magic (Johnson) and said, ‘Hey, look, let’s get together and play on one team.”
See changes in bold:
“There’s no way, with hindsight, I would’ve ever called up Larry (Bird), called up...
rabbits
A German schoolteacher with rabbit-phobia has lost a lawsuit against a 16-year-old student, which began after the schoolgirl drew a large rabbit on the blackboard, prompting the teacher to flee the classroom in tears. The teacher’s suit alleged the student had defamed her by spreading a rumor that she was afraid of rabbits. (via slatest)
INT. CLASSROOM
HEIDI draws rabbit on blackboard....
Can we all just admit we've barely heard of Bosh?
Oh man, the Heat are gonna be sick. Lebron James. Dwayne Wade. Chris Bosh. Tearing up the Eastern Conference! The King. D-Wade. Chris. Bosh. LeBron will be throwing down ridiculous dunks, draining game-winning threes. Dwayne will be the shooting guard who can score from anywhere on the court. And Chris Bosh will be there! Lebron: two-time NBA MVP, playing with Wade: the MVP of the NBA finals and...
June 2010
5 posts
banking job announcement
Village Voice: A 33-year-old single mom has sued Citigroup, claiming she was fired because her bosses thought she was too hot.
JOB ANNOUNCEMENT Business banker, midtown branch
Ideal candidate will have: -3+ years banking experience
-normal body shape—nothing too curvy or voluptuous
-command of financial accounting
-1+ grating personality attributes that cancel out physical...
Vote, if you please
Hello. If you want, vote for The Brig’s “Overly Ambitious Ensemble Drama” as the film of the month at Shooting People. Here’s how:
You have to register here. (It says you need to pay but you can just not pay, and still be registered).
Then you can vote for the video here (“vote” = rate it 1 to 5).
This is also a way to see a high-quality version of the video...
missed connections
WLIIA - w4m - 28 (Midtown)
Date: 2010-06-22, 11:13PM EDT
you are colin mochrie. famous improvisor. i’m the shy brunette in the audience who laughs hysterically as you walk across mousetraps, blindfolded.
my friend tara told me all about the caste system: how you’d be shunned for dating the likes of me, a lowly improv student. (and i had to miss a week of the beginner’s...
1 tag
WatchNew Brig video that we’re really happy with.
I kind of hope that 10 years from now, the members of this “generation” of the NYC improv community are off doing awesome things, and this video functions as a yearbook of sorts.
Also: add my brother, who did the Glassian score, to your music-listening list.
1 tag
The Man In Black was petroleum
The NYT on the idea of dropping a nuclear bomb on the leaking oil well in the Gulf:
In theory, the nuclear option seems attractive because the extreme heat might create a tough seal. An exploding atom bomb generates temperatures hotter than the surface of the sun and, detonated underground, can turn acres of porous rock into a glassy plug, much like a huge stopper in a leaky bottle.
...
May 2010
11 posts
1 tag
Gooey oil slick blobs closer to the coast
LOUISIANA—BP workers today will try again to plug a leaking oil well spewing thousands of barrels of sludgy goop into the Gulf of Mexico.
The move comes as the gurgling sludge makes landfall on the Gulf Coast shoreline.
BP has tried since the April 22 sinking of the Deepwater oil rig to stop the oozing of viscous grime into the Gulf.
The new tactic involves injecting a slimey...
LOST
Can someone BRIEFLY explain the Lost finale to me — I saw the pilot episode of season 1 and then caught the last half hour tonight.
How did the doctor (Party of Five guy) get hurt? And the beautiful brunette who kissed the doctor — who is she? She was NOT in the pilot. I would have remembered her.
Please be brief. Thanks.
Jake
Saddest book project ever?
I haven’t given up on Google Wave just yet, but I feel bad for the author of this book—she did a ton of work but her book is probably obsolete / useless already.
I love Wave but it only works if everyone uses it.
2 tags
How to write a comedy skit
by Losk Samuels, Howto.com contributor.
From SNL to the Ohio State Flash Mob, we’ve all seen hilarious skits. Ever want to give it a try? Follow these 8 easy steps and you can! 1. Decide how funny you want your skit to be: funny, very funny or super funny. This will guide all the decisions you make. (If this is your first time, you should probably try for “funny.”) 2. Sit...
2 tags
Cartoon captions
Sorry if we’re being rude but we’re tired of you asking about Y2K; that was 11 years ago! The world has moved on! Even if you haven’t.
-submitted by Brian
Brian Cassidy recently emerged from a coma suffered in June 1999. He is writing a memoir about his re-acclimation to society, provisionally titled “Not the Kind of Thing You Just ‘Get Over’”
...
1 tag
Why I liked this week's episode of LOST
Spoiler alert if you’re not caught up. (Also, no need to read unless you’re curious.) In reaction to the vitriolic hatred from many Lost fans over this week’s ep, I had a thought.
Readers/viewers are one of three things: philosopher, detective or adventurer. None is better or worse. An adventurer wants to be thrilled. A detective wants answers. A philosopher (me) wants...
I'm 100% positive you have the wrong number
Answered the phone just now.
Me: “Hello.” Kid: “Dad?”
WatchBlackout video from The Brig.
We shot this a few minutes after wrapping a (forthcoming) video that easily took Adam and me 40+ hours of work.
This video took about 3 minutes from conception to wrap, and I LOVE THAT.
1 tag
Procrastination!
Today’s Procrastination Question:
If an outfielder falls over the outfield fence but still catches the fly ball, is it a homerun or out?
A: Batter’s out, but runners on base move up a base. (source)
As always I’m obligated to answer the question before continuing with my normal obligations.
Time: 13 minutes.
Today’s question comes to us from my subconscious, via the...
1 tag
press release
Stolen Monet Painting Returned! PR Contact Jean Rougette, 33 5 67 38 22 92, jrougette@mac.com Parisian Jean Rougette is humbly declining public adulation after the noble citizen found and returned a stolen Monet painting that miraculously appeared among his possessions. Mssr. Rougette was taking inventory of his belongings when he happened upon the painting, likely stashed...
1 tag
April 2010
7 posts
1 tag
Things Not Intimidating When Done By a Guy With a...
Cracking knuckles menacingly.
1 tag
Who's the best improv team in NYC?
I’d like to announce the official World Series of Improv Round Robin NYC Improv Championship Tournament! Purpose: to crown the undisputed champion of our art!
I’ve taken the liberty of entering all 351 NYC indie improv teams, plus the 19 house teams at UCB, Magnet and the PIT.
Our first round kicks off Monday! It’s “A Dangerous Woman” versus...
1 tag
WatchNew Brig video I wrote. Adam Sacks made it look really good. (Not brand new; I just had been too busy to post.)
#usingexgirlfriendsandheartbreakforgood!
1 tag
Every boy who likes sports has a fantasy
Fantasy: One day, I’ll be watching the game from the stands, one of the players will be injured, the coach will throw up his hands in apoplexy, see me 10 rows up, make an “I’ve Got a Crazy Idea” face, and ask me (with his eyes) if I’d like to put on a uniform and play.
(Like this old Jason Alexander pretzel commercial.)
Anyway, the crazy thing is that last night in...
1 tag
Letter
A letter from Tiger Woods to Jesse James
Thank you.
Your recent sex scandal has taken the tabloid spotlight off of me.
As a token of appreciation, please accept the enclosed gift, “Oh the Places You Will Go” by Dr. Seuss, along with this re-gifted greeting card, which I recently received when my scandal broke.
Hope you get to pass it on and add your name to the list.
Sincerely
...
1 tag
Therapist
Patient: In high school, I used to have this fantasy that I’d catch the winning touchdown on Friday night and everyone in the school would be proud of me. Therapist: So you have this fantasy where you do something on the ballfield and everyone is proud of you. Patient: Yeah I catch the winning touchdown. Therapist: Okay! You catch the ball! Patient: Right, I catch the ball for a touchdown....
1 tag
Is there a connection to LOST? →
A man on a flight out of Australia says he can crash the plane with his mind, and the first thing I think of is Desmond, Ben Linus, Man in Black.
The connections are EVERYWHERE!
Ridiculous.
#drankthekoolaid
March 2010
4 posts
1 tag
Headline
FAA issues safety warning for homemade planes
WASHINGTON – High-performance homemade planes like the one that killed a beach jogger last week in South Carolina are prone to stall, especially when going slower while waiting to land, and have been involved in a disproportionately large number of fatal accidents, federal officials warned Thursday.
A warning is all this gets? People are making...
1 tag
2 reasons I like "Damages"
1. They lead the league in surprises and reversals. 2. They keep pilfering actors from The Wire! Last season featured the actors who played Major Rawls and Lester Freamon. This season has the actors who played The Greek and Brother Mouzone.
Keep giving these guys work!
1 tag
Irony
She’s tormented because you tabloid fuck-nuts keep putting her picture on the front page!
She was previously un-identified.
Assholes.
1 tag
Good photo or screensaver?
Game:
Good photo?
Or just a screensaver?
February 2010
17 posts
2 tags
Mass emails
TO: All employees FROM: Brenda Galatskey DATE: 2/20/10 8:25 a.m. SUBJECT: Lights
It seems that the timer for all the lights in the office is not working this morning. If you need to turn on the lights in your area, there is a small black knob on the wall that you can twist to override the timer. We are working to fix the problem.
TO: All employees FROM: Dartanian Hutchings DATE:...
4 tags
WatchNew video from my team, The Brig.
Kudos to all the folks who came out to be extras for the bow scene. I’m a sucker for that kind of thing—tons of costumes and effort from lots of people for a one-second shot.
2 tags
Cartoon captions
Why doesn’t everyone calm down and enjoy a frosty-to-the-max Coors Light?
-submitted by Jesse
Jesse Goldstein is a communications associate at Coors Light Inc. in Golden, Col. He graduated from Antioch College with a B.A. in viral marketing, a major he created.
Character key here.
3 tags
Free Morgan Freeman
Hang on, Morgan. Remember: Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things.
3 tags
Olympics announcing
Cris Collingsworth is a former pro football player, current pro football announcer. NBC is using him to cover the Winter Olympics.
He’s doing okay:
****
“Felix Loch has such great vision. He just lowers his head and follows the sled all the way to the end area.”
“[Lamy] Chappuis reminds me of Tom Brady.”
“Bode Miller grew up watching the great...
Fallon links to our Numbalex video →
Thanks to Jon Friedman. (I really enjoyed his Spank show a little while back, by the way.)
4 tags
WatchNew video from my team, the Brig. For depressed people.
Brainstorming ideas for this video was seriously depressing.
One I remember: Even if you recycle every soda can you see for the rest of your life, there’s a guy out there who will do enough damage to the environment by himself to more than cancel out your efforts. Actually, there are millions of such people.
Futility!