Joe Flacco sketch from Beige’s show last night. Avery was really hilarious (and even gamely dealt with an unruly audience member).
It’s baseball’s Opening Day, so I’ll post this baseball video I wrote. Episode 6 of the web series First Base. Shot last year at the Brooklyn Cyclones’ field.
-The Atlantic Coast Conference is for schools on the Atlantic Coast.
-The Western Conference is for schools in the West. And Louisiana.
-The Pacific 12 is for schools on the Pacific Coast. And in landlocked, non-coastal states.
-The Big 10 is for 12 schools in the Midwest.
-The Big 12 is for 10 schools in what others call the Midwest.
-The Mountain West is for schools in the mountains and also for schools nowhere close to mountains.
-The Big East is for schools in the East that aren’t big.
-The Mid-American Conference is for colleges in Middle America. And in New England. And for all schools named after fictional states, except for East Carolina (see below).
-The Notre Dame Conference is for assholes.
-The Patriot League is for East Coast schools in communist, latté-drinking blue states.
-Conference USA is a halfway house for undesirable schools trying to get back on their feet. And for schools named after fictional states, except for Ball State and Kent State (see above).
-The Southeastern Conference is for the fastest athletes money can buy.
Yes! By not using a photo that was unavailable to them, and instead relying on their stupid, inferior-to-professional-camera eyes and their silly brains—not evolutionarily designed to decide instantaneously whether a man running at full speed touched his knee to white paint on the ground—those refs sure did BLOW IT! Morons!
I wrote a new Brig video.
The irony here was that we ordered two Domino’s pizzas—for the product shot and for lunch—and they were terrible.
Even though I hate their ad campaign (it only reinforces criticisms of their product!), I was willing to believe they’d improved their pizza.
Nope! Still terrible!
Gotta plug my cat, Abbey’s, debut performance!!
(Also, Connor Ratliff, D’Arcy and the Brig did a great job with this one.)