-The Atlantic Coast Conference is for schools on the Atlantic Coast.

-The Western Conference is for schools in the West. And Louisiana.

-The Pacific 12 is for schools on the Pacific Coast. And in landlocked, non-coastal states.

-The Big 10 is for 12 schools in the Midwest.

-The Big 12 is for 10 schools in what others call the Midwest.

-The Mountain West is for schools in the mountains and also for schools nowhere close to mountains.

-The Big East is for schools in the East that aren’t big. 

-The Mid-American Conference is for colleges in Middle America. And in New England. And for all schools named after fictional states, except for East Carolina (see below).

-The Notre Dame Conference is for assholes.

-The Patriot League is for East Coast schools in communist, latté-drinking blue states.

-Conference USA is a halfway house for undesirable schools trying to get back on their feet. And for schools named after fictional states, except for Ball State and Kent State (see above).

-The Southeastern Conference is for the fastest athletes money can buy.

Yes! By not using a photo that was unavailable to them, and instead relying on their stupid, inferior-to-professional-camera eyes and their silly brains—not evolutionarily designed to decide instantaneously whether a man running at full speed touched his knee to white paint on the ground—those refs sure did BLOW IT! Morons!

I wrote a new Brig video. 

The irony here was that we ordered two Domino’s pizzas—for the product shot and for lunch—and they were terrible.

Even though I hate their ad campaign (it only reinforces criticisms of their product!), I was willing to believe they’d improved their pizza.

Nope! Still terrible!

Quick, silly video starring Matt Cutler and Dru Johnston.

“Tech Mom”—Pam Murphy teaches hacking. 

This is the final episode. Or is it????? (It is.)

Gotta plug my cat, Abbey’s, debut performance!! 

(Also, Connor Ratliff, D’Arcy and the Brig did a great job with this one.)

Tech Mom, ep 2 is up. Pam and Adam did a great job.

The Inception of Political Attack Ads. Commercials within commercials.

A parody I wrote with Adam Sacks. Came out really well for something done in a few days.

Adam’s graphical work and my brother’s score really sell it. 

Thanks to Matt Mayer, Nate Russell, Nat Freedberg, Rob Webber, Kent Kincannon.

New Brig video on breast cancer and corporations. 

Hello,

My brother and I are doing the NYC Walk to Beat Lung Cancer on Oct. 24th and could use some small donations (like five or ten bucks). As some of you know, my Dad passed away in August after a battle with lung cancer and we’re hoping to honor his memory by supporting lung cancer research.

(This is an email I sent to friends/family. Hope this doesn’t breach Tumblr decorum.)

Some unbelievable facts:

-lung cancer kills more people annually than breast, colon, pancreatic and prostate cancer combined

-those diagnosed with lung cancer have an 85% chance of dying within 5 years

Basically, we’re stuck about where we were decades ago: without good screening, so lung cancer is typically detected in the late stages, after it’s spread.

So, worthy cause. Money raised goes to lung cancer research projects around the world. If you’d like to help us, you can donate HERE (click ‘DONATE’ above the poorly-drawn thermometer)

The idea is to get small donations from many. If you can’t, no worries I totally understand. But hey, feel free to forward/reblog this message.

I really appreciate your help. I really dislike soliciting financial contributions but this one means a lot to me and my bro.

Cheers.

Zack